The ways to "jio" (woo) a female (James version)
This post is done in response to Melvin's blog. Cause he hasn't been updating, I assume he has abandoned it and it would not hurt to take some things from his blog and use them.
I agree with Melvin in some aspects, and disagree with him in some aspects cause he does them in a TOTALLY different way. Those who have known him for quite some time should know this fact. Yep.
Step 1: Be her friend. What else could you do? Give her 50 bucks and make her agree everything you say? E.g
Male: "I give you 50 dollars. Whatever I say, just agree. Ok?"
Female (seeing opportunity to earn easy money): "Sure."
Male: "Say I love you."
Female: "I love you."
Male: "Stead with me."
Female: "Ok lor."
Male: "Let's break up."
Female: "Anything."
Male: "Now give me back my fifty bucks.", leaving the girl confused and pondering what had she done wrong.
Step 2: Never be her best friend. If you are in that stage, YOU ARE SO SCREWED. Yep, screwed. Cause you know too much about the girl and during dates, you might talk the usual shit, forgetting she is your girlfriend, but your best friend. E.g, you bring her to a really romantic dinner, and you talk the usual shit you talk about as best friends. AND not forgetting you know too much about her, she knows too much about you, too. Exceptions do happen, and that happens with moronic people like, my sister.
Step 3: Don't let the girl know you like her. If she knows, she will avoid you like you got bird flu, Sars, Dengue fever or a naked man running amok, with your dick hanging around showing the whole wide world. And for this stage, I seriously recommend Melvin's skills. He had even fooled me, someone who mixed with him in school everyday, by saying he loves her, then another female, then suddenly steads with Tricia, catching her TOTALLY off guard. I call those girls that Melvin used, diversion girls. Why the name diversion girls? Cause they are used to mislead us. Cunning, Melvin, cunning. *rolls eyes*
Step 4: Never call the girl, cause I heard girls are really weird when you call them, especially at night. Also don't send them goodnight sms-es, cause if she is really popular, you are just wasting your darned money, which you can use it to flirt with another girl. =X oops.
Step 5: If the girl is interested in you, or if you think so, just do it. Just do your many patterns, and pray to all the Gods, E.g Jesus, Allah, Shiva or any chinese god and pray that the girl will not reply a No, I'll consider and whatever phrase that says no. They might be beating about the bush saying that you're a nice guy, but you're not the type for her. PATTERN MORE THAN BADMINTON. There might be more "chim" words involved, so you gotta check the dictionary, while the girl uses the time to pack her things and elope with some dumb yandao.
Step 6: If she rejects you, look for a new pasture and start afresh or you can be a low-life and think about her when you masturbate. This method are for low-lifes, not for playboys or "chiongsters". If you are looking for a new pasture, act like you are very depressed, and not like somebody or you can secretly love someone in secret. Take a few months, and then you can go to the general office, use the speaker to tell every single in school that you don't like the person you love before, and you love the new person. Make sure everyone knows, even the old uncles and aunties that wash the toilet in school.
Step 7: If you want to woo another female, refer to step 1 again.
Thanks Melvin, for having written this article to help me with this.. entry. I love you, but I don't want your kisses. Save 'em for your girl, ok? She might be jealous. LOL. I'm kidding.
I agree with Melvin in some aspects, and disagree with him in some aspects cause he does them in a TOTALLY different way. Those who have known him for quite some time should know this fact. Yep.
Step 1: Be her friend. What else could you do? Give her 50 bucks and make her agree everything you say? E.g
Male: "I give you 50 dollars. Whatever I say, just agree. Ok?"
Female (seeing opportunity to earn easy money): "Sure."
Male: "Say I love you."
Female: "I love you."
Male: "Stead with me."
Female: "Ok lor."
Male: "Let's break up."
Female: "Anything."
Male: "Now give me back my fifty bucks.", leaving the girl confused and pondering what had she done wrong.
Step 2: Never be her best friend. If you are in that stage, YOU ARE SO SCREWED. Yep, screwed. Cause you know too much about the girl and during dates, you might talk the usual shit, forgetting she is your girlfriend, but your best friend. E.g, you bring her to a really romantic dinner, and you talk the usual shit you talk about as best friends. AND not forgetting you know too much about her, she knows too much about you, too. Exceptions do happen, and that happens with moronic people like, my sister.
Step 3: Don't let the girl know you like her. If she knows, she will avoid you like you got bird flu, Sars, Dengue fever or a naked man running amok, with your dick hanging around showing the whole wide world. And for this stage, I seriously recommend Melvin's skills. He had even fooled me, someone who mixed with him in school everyday, by saying he loves her, then another female, then suddenly steads with Tricia, catching her TOTALLY off guard. I call those girls that Melvin used, diversion girls. Why the name diversion girls? Cause they are used to mislead us. Cunning, Melvin, cunning. *rolls eyes*
Step 4: Never call the girl, cause I heard girls are really weird when you call them, especially at night. Also don't send them goodnight sms-es, cause if she is really popular, you are just wasting your darned money, which you can use it to flirt with another girl. =X oops.
Step 5: If the girl is interested in you, or if you think so, just do it. Just do your many patterns, and pray to all the Gods, E.g Jesus, Allah, Shiva or any chinese god and pray that the girl will not reply a No, I'll consider and whatever phrase that says no. They might be beating about the bush saying that you're a nice guy, but you're not the type for her. PATTERN MORE THAN BADMINTON. There might be more "chim" words involved, so you gotta check the dictionary, while the girl uses the time to pack her things and elope with some dumb yandao.
Step 6: If she rejects you, look for a new pasture and start afresh or you can be a low-life and think about her when you masturbate. This method are for low-lifes, not for playboys or "chiongsters". If you are looking for a new pasture, act like you are very depressed, and not like somebody or you can secretly love someone in secret. Take a few months, and then you can go to the general office, use the speaker to tell every single in school that you don't like the person you love before, and you love the new person. Make sure everyone knows, even the old uncles and aunties that wash the toilet in school.
Step 7: If you want to woo another female, refer to step 1 again.
Thanks Melvin, for having written this article to help me with this.. entry. I love you, but I don't want your kisses. Save 'em for your girl, ok? She might be jealous. LOL. I'm kidding.
posted by Unwilling person at 8:06 PM
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