The ways to woo a male.
This entry is done to ensure that the females will not call me a sexist, and done for Gays and Transvestites, so be happy. I'm usually not so generous.
Step 1: Be his friend. (Obvious) If not, walk up to the guy you don't know, but like him cause he is cute or handsome, with a gang of Ah Lians, and tell the guy you like him, and you want to stead with him, and give him 10 seconds to say a "Yes" or "No". If the guy says no, rape him or shout that he molested you. Or you can get the Ah Lians to scratch the fuck outta his face and make no girl fall for him ANYMORE. The risk is that you might get charged for assault and made to live in the girls home.
Step 2: Never be his best friend, cause.. read my previous entry. Get to know him, not too much, just a little bit will do.
Step 3: Don't be shy to ask him out for a walk, and be FLEXIBLE. Don't be afraid to start a dumb conversation. This method can also be used to find out the guy you love reaches your standards. E.g Is he gentlemanly enough, rich enough, very good skills to satisfy you on the bed. =X oops. Girls are hard to satisfy sometimes. You can let the guy know you like him, he won't avoid you unless you don't have the looks. In this situation, sit at home, go bittorrent, find gay porn and download it. It might give you a few seconds of enjoyment, soon you will be craving for more. Scary, but true.
Step 4: You can call the guy, to make sure he doesn't get the chance to flirt with other females on the phone at night. Guys are not weird at night, just bewildered by the fact why you call him, and boosting your chances by a VERY big percentage of 0.01%. You can also send twitish goodnight sms-es to him, giving his friends a good impression of him. You can also flirt with another guy, and hope that the guy doesn't spread the shit around. Rumours spread like wildfire, see?
Step 5: If the guy is starting to date you, here's your chance. Flip open the dictionary, look for very "chim" words, be it any language, use your girly charm, your best twitish language and ask him. If you ask him on the spot, he might have a less chance to reject you. If you sms him, he might not reject you, cause you might slander him and he might never get a girlfriend anymore. BAH.
Step 6: When you two are on dates, try to strike up conversations cause I've seen a case whereby the couple broke up due to one another being too.. well, quiet. As long you talk something sensible, (other than your darned CCA. Who is interested in that?) nothing wrong should happen. Unless.. quarrels like the guy not being able to satisfy you in bed, well, get viagra, stuff it down his mouth and it should do the trick. Otherwise get yourself a dildo and finger yourself all night long in the toilet.
Step 7: If you broke up with him, go to the general office, use the mic and announce that you have broken up with him, and you don't love him anymore. A better way is to pay Straits Times to publish a coloumn, saying that you don't love that dumb dick anymore. You can also appear in channel NewsAsia, and tell eveyone in Singapore and become a celebrity overnight. You can also make use of the opportunity to tell everyone who you like. A good chance.
Try this steps, females. And tell me, it DOES work. Ok? Ok.
Step 1: Be his friend. (Obvious) If not, walk up to the guy you don't know, but like him cause he is cute or handsome, with a gang of Ah Lians, and tell the guy you like him, and you want to stead with him, and give him 10 seconds to say a "Yes" or "No". If the guy says no, rape him or shout that he molested you. Or you can get the Ah Lians to scratch the fuck outta his face and make no girl fall for him ANYMORE. The risk is that you might get charged for assault and made to live in the girls home.
Step 2: Never be his best friend, cause.. read my previous entry. Get to know him, not too much, just a little bit will do.
Step 3: Don't be shy to ask him out for a walk, and be FLEXIBLE. Don't be afraid to start a dumb conversation. This method can also be used to find out the guy you love reaches your standards. E.g Is he gentlemanly enough, rich enough, very good skills to satisfy you on the bed. =X oops. Girls are hard to satisfy sometimes. You can let the guy know you like him, he won't avoid you unless you don't have the looks. In this situation, sit at home, go bittorrent, find gay porn and download it. It might give you a few seconds of enjoyment, soon you will be craving for more. Scary, but true.
Step 4: You can call the guy, to make sure he doesn't get the chance to flirt with other females on the phone at night. Guys are not weird at night, just bewildered by the fact why you call him, and boosting your chances by a VERY big percentage of 0.01%. You can also send twitish goodnight sms-es to him, giving his friends a good impression of him. You can also flirt with another guy, and hope that the guy doesn't spread the shit around. Rumours spread like wildfire, see?
Step 5: If the guy is starting to date you, here's your chance. Flip open the dictionary, look for very "chim" words, be it any language, use your girly charm, your best twitish language and ask him. If you ask him on the spot, he might have a less chance to reject you. If you sms him, he might not reject you, cause you might slander him and he might never get a girlfriend anymore. BAH.
Step 6: When you two are on dates, try to strike up conversations cause I've seen a case whereby the couple broke up due to one another being too.. well, quiet. As long you talk something sensible, (other than your darned CCA. Who is interested in that?) nothing wrong should happen. Unless.. quarrels like the guy not being able to satisfy you in bed, well, get viagra, stuff it down his mouth and it should do the trick. Otherwise get yourself a dildo and finger yourself all night long in the toilet.
Step 7: If you broke up with him, go to the general office, use the mic and announce that you have broken up with him, and you don't love him anymore. A better way is to pay Straits Times to publish a coloumn, saying that you don't love that dumb dick anymore. You can also appear in channel NewsAsia, and tell eveyone in Singapore and become a celebrity overnight. You can also make use of the opportunity to tell everyone who you like. A good chance.
Try this steps, females. And tell me, it DOES work. Ok? Ok.
posted by Unwilling person at 8:14 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home