The Chinese New Year
Yay. Chinese New Year. The day when most chinese are looking forward to, or most. Like me, for example. Cause this is the time when parents let their hair down and let their kids hanky panky about for the first 3 days of New Year. Of course, there are pros and cons for this festival. Which is all about Money. $$ Yes, money. Why? I shall tell you why.
Pros:
1: Ang Pao time. If you have many relatives, you are gonna receive many, many, Ang Paos. More Ang Pao means more money. So expect smiles on kids faces.
2: You can go to your most hated cousins house and make a hell of a mess in that place. E.g Spill a cup of soft drink on the sofa, have a pillow fight and claim that he started it.
3: If you don't have luxuries in your own home, use your relatives' one! Common sense. If your cousin has a ps2 and you don't have one, you go his house and play until his machine burns.
4: Tidbits! Your relatives will be egging you to finish em, and see how you resist all the nice, nice food which you can eat during New Year.
5: A real nice get-together with long lost cousins.
6: Experience how good your aunt's/uncle's cooking is.
Cons:
1: Ang Paos. If you have very little relatives, you are gonna be sad. Why? Less ang pao, less money. *sobs*
2: If your cousins are as backward as you, there is nothing to do but watch television, only. The only entertainment is your imagination and it really sucks at times.
3: If you are a damn, solid and fucking fat, your parents will be giving you a hard time. They will be watching you, and making it very difficult for you to snatch a bite. However, you can tide over this crisis by buying damn huge pants and clothes. They make you look slim.
4: All your ang paos have only.. $2. LOL.
Of course, this is absolute rubbish, it most of the things work for me. Why? Cause I'm good. Get it? I'm good. Now more to my personal life, so shut up and read.
New year's eve. The most disastrous New Year's Eve in my 16 years on Earth. My parents ordered some dumb food from shop and save, and prayed to the almighty Chinese Gods. I don't give a shit to the gods, more to the food. After they prayed, we ate. My parents bought a piece of pork's knuckle, hokkien mee, shark fins and yam.
When you look at the food, you feel like drooling on it. When you put it into your mouth, you feel like spitting it on the food. Yes, it's this bad. If you feel that it is really nice, you can take a knife, stick out your tongue, and lop it off.
We threw away majority of the food.
First day of New Year. Nothing much happened, just that one taxi driver cheated me of my money. I couldn't care less, he needs the money to support his family.
Second day. Must be my most unlucky day. I loaned Devil May Cry 1, and it keeps hanging. Shit. Must I loan from another moron?
Third day. My cousins came over, and they just played dynasty warriors and smackdown versus raw. No Kingston, my mom kept the shitty ps2 again. So don't bother coming over. Ok?And she isn't working for the next 7 days.
Someone give me Devil May Cry 1 and Devil May cry 3: Special Edition on my birthday. Thank you. I won't love you, but I will definitely not hate you.
Pros:
1: Ang Pao time. If you have many relatives, you are gonna receive many, many, Ang Paos. More Ang Pao means more money. So expect smiles on kids faces.
2: You can go to your most hated cousins house and make a hell of a mess in that place. E.g Spill a cup of soft drink on the sofa, have a pillow fight and claim that he started it.
3: If you don't have luxuries in your own home, use your relatives' one! Common sense. If your cousin has a ps2 and you don't have one, you go his house and play until his machine burns.
4: Tidbits! Your relatives will be egging you to finish em, and see how you resist all the nice, nice food which you can eat during New Year.
5: A real nice get-together with long lost cousins.
6: Experience how good your aunt's/uncle's cooking is.
Cons:
1: Ang Paos. If you have very little relatives, you are gonna be sad. Why? Less ang pao, less money. *sobs*
2: If your cousins are as backward as you, there is nothing to do but watch television, only. The only entertainment is your imagination and it really sucks at times.
3: If you are a damn, solid and fucking fat, your parents will be giving you a hard time. They will be watching you, and making it very difficult for you to snatch a bite. However, you can tide over this crisis by buying damn huge pants and clothes. They make you look slim.
4: All your ang paos have only.. $2. LOL.
Of course, this is absolute rubbish, it most of the things work for me. Why? Cause I'm good. Get it? I'm good. Now more to my personal life, so shut up and read.
New year's eve. The most disastrous New Year's Eve in my 16 years on Earth. My parents ordered some dumb food from shop and save, and prayed to the almighty Chinese Gods. I don't give a shit to the gods, more to the food. After they prayed, we ate. My parents bought a piece of pork's knuckle, hokkien mee, shark fins and yam.
When you look at the food, you feel like drooling on it. When you put it into your mouth, you feel like spitting it on the food. Yes, it's this bad. If you feel that it is really nice, you can take a knife, stick out your tongue, and lop it off.
We threw away majority of the food.
First day of New Year. Nothing much happened, just that one taxi driver cheated me of my money. I couldn't care less, he needs the money to support his family.
Second day. Must be my most unlucky day. I loaned Devil May Cry 1, and it keeps hanging. Shit. Must I loan from another moron?
Third day. My cousins came over, and they just played dynasty warriors and smackdown versus raw. No Kingston, my mom kept the shitty ps2 again. So don't bother coming over. Ok?And she isn't working for the next 7 days.
Someone give me Devil May Cry 1 and Devil May cry 3: Special Edition on my birthday. Thank you. I won't love you, but I will definitely not hate you.
posted by Unwilling person at 8:18 PM
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